The Final Farewell
Here's the truth, the final farewell, end to all my pain, at least I hope so anyways.I am the most unsure person but my heart was always so sure on you, and I can say with all my heart that I still love you and miss you. It's something that is hard to admit, but even harder to hide and keep to myself. The truth is every night I always think of you, and when I fall asleep I am always in a dream with you, it hurts to say but I really did believe in you. Through all the bullshit I still wanna be with you. Memories we made mixed with all the times we spend. I am still confused that did you really love me or was everything pretend? I don't know why I can't get over you, I should've expected that we'd drift apart, I should've expected that we'd talk less, I should've expected to miss you this much. I should've I should've I should've, but I didn't, and and now I'm here regretting, dying from inside, you fucking destroyed me, you built me up on all of you're sweet lies. You know what's the worst part of me? that you're still part of me. I still feel my heart skip a beat when someone says your name, but time has made my memory soft. I forgot about the horrible way you broke my my heart. why me? why? Only i have to suffer? Why do I have to cry myself to sleep Some Nights? How can you not feel a thing? How can you be so happy? I always get told how it's your loss and not mine and maybe that is the case but I am definitely feeling like I am losing. you're happy you moved on and I feel broken how is that fair? I guess I was holding on to someone who wasn't really ever there and I guess I believed in a love that we both never shared. I wasn't even supposed to fall in love with you at the start, hell, now I wish I never knew you. But somehow, in someway I manage to fall for you. How stupid I was, you were never supposed to find out about my stupid crush on you but you did, and now, here we are acting like completely strangers. But I don't hate you for leaving you deserve to be happy too. you need to put your own happiness before me. But I just hate the fact that you have taken away many moments from me that I can never get back. And the reason I'm holding on because I know that if I let go. I'll never be able to feel the way I feel with you with anybody else, anywhere else.
All I know is that you are gone and that you have been gone for the past 8 months and there's not yet been one when I haven't cried. And I know that my siblings wants me to go to the doctor because she/he may or may not know about the lines I used to carve into my own wrist. And my best friend would happily go for weeks without speaking to me, because every conversation I have manages to circle it's way back to you. And I know that everybody is tired and bored of me talking about you. But the truth is I have to talk about you, because at least then it's still real the moment I stop talking about you the reality set in that you're really gone and I don't know if I am ready to accept that yet. And after years of holding onto you. I finally let you go and everything one day just felt lighter. My chest, my mind, my stomach. I didn't have headaches daily like I used to, I didn't get anxious much anymore. I think it had to do with letting go and moving on to different things. Don't get me wrong, I know those feelings wouldn't last forever, but when you wake up one day without the tension in your chest, it's so satisfying, it's relieving, it's a reward for holding on you just gotta hold on. Guess what? Am moving slowly, because today I saw your face and I lost my breath a little but I didn't collapse like I would have 8 months ago.
After all this I want to say you that nothing last forever things end. People leave, and you know what life goes on besides, if bad things din't happen then how would you be able to feel the good ones? be happy and remember everything happens for your best, maybe someone better was meant to come in your life, and in process to move on you must make a decision that you are going to move on. It won't happen automatically you will have to rise up and say "I don't care how hard this is, i don't care how disappointed I'm. I am not going to let this get best of me, I'm moving on with my life." And thats how it's going to help you in your life. Wish you all the best!
All I know is that you are gone and that you have been gone for the past 8 months and there's not yet been one when I haven't cried. And I know that my siblings wants me to go to the doctor because she/he may or may not know about the lines I used to carve into my own wrist. And my best friend would happily go for weeks without speaking to me, because every conversation I have manages to circle it's way back to you. And I know that everybody is tired and bored of me talking about you. But the truth is I have to talk about you, because at least then it's still real the moment I stop talking about you the reality set in that you're really gone and I don't know if I am ready to accept that yet. And after years of holding onto you. I finally let you go and everything one day just felt lighter. My chest, my mind, my stomach. I didn't have headaches daily like I used to, I didn't get anxious much anymore. I think it had to do with letting go and moving on to different things. Don't get me wrong, I know those feelings wouldn't last forever, but when you wake up one day without the tension in your chest, it's so satisfying, it's relieving, it's a reward for holding on you just gotta hold on. Guess what? Am moving slowly, because today I saw your face and I lost my breath a little but I didn't collapse like I would have 8 months ago.
After all this I want to say you that nothing last forever things end. People leave, and you know what life goes on besides, if bad things din't happen then how would you be able to feel the good ones? be happy and remember everything happens for your best, maybe someone better was meant to come in your life, and in process to move on you must make a decision that you are going to move on. It won't happen automatically you will have to rise up and say "I don't care how hard this is, i don't care how disappointed I'm. I am not going to let this get best of me, I'm moving on with my life." And thats how it's going to help you in your life. Wish you all the best!
Hope you like my article!!
-Shaikh Nauman
-Shaikh Nauman
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